It's 3:35am here in CLICS and it's hella packed and tight like butt-cheeks. In paradoxical nature, people are still lively, in their zombie-like states. No one says it but smiles occasionally cross people's faces which takes my gaze away from their bloodshot eyes and dismissive body language shouts "shoot me in the freakin' head." I'm sure suicidal contemplations consume this place. Rationale has lost it's place in academia, and people seemed to have forgotten what the point of their life was or why they're studying what they're studying. A sad reality. Why this cycle? I don't know. A side thought, my friend Trent, working the CSO duty tonight, is complaining about how he missed the playoffs in fantasy football. A pitiful problem in light of this tense atmosphere where I know the plight of my fellow tritons is visibly taking it's toll. The brutal quarter system doesn't leave much room for error.
This place smells of various munchies and people look like they're a "Rockstar" away from being cracked out. I think how I can be joyful during this time of finals and joyful in the Lord at that. I've been looking at clips of coverage on immigration for the past few hours trying to decipher images and see how to make my case that media outlets racialize the immigration debate and make it more of a "Mexican" issue rather than an issue of "immigration." I think how my people and many others, are often invisible sojourners in this country but are often made "hyper-visible" (yeah I know that is an Ethnic Studies concept. In other words they are made more visible in certain contexts...another paradoxical situation). Trying to finish up some research for my final prospectus for the quarter, I surprisingly feel at peace with God and joyful. Maybe, my seasoned veteran savvy has allowed me to cheat the devil out of having a field day with my emotions this finals week, but to be honest, this quarter has been extremely difficult in many respects, but still God's peace comes over me. This is kinda the first time too. I don't know why, that's something I'll reflect on over the break.
Anyway, thinking about the injustice of the immigration situation where people loosely slip in and out of their rhetoric to praise immigrants for their hard work while ambiguously saying we still need to solve the "problem" although it's never really defined. Kinda just...there. Yeah, that is another issue and I won't go off on that tangent, but another group of "invisibles" trek their way here into UCSD libraries often and perhaps they're a little more noticeable when the libraries experience density a la finals week. They're not hard to notice. In fact, they stick out like black people on this campus (damn you UCSD!! Diversity my arse. I can't help but feel this world takes one step forward only to take two steps backwards sometimes), in general kinda like minorities in college campuses across this country. They stick out like me when I walk through this library. My stupid orthotics for my flat feet always make weird noises when I walk because they're not the natural in-soles for the shoes. I'm sure everyone has stared already. The awkward "squeaks" are quite rude in such study environments, and they're not the traditional "squeaks" either. I can't really explain it. It kinda sounds like the tin man without oil from the "Wizard of Oz" but not quite as harsh. But yeah, homeless folks roll through the libraries trying to avoid the chill factor of the coast. San Diego weather has been freakishly cold. Well, not that cold, but cold for the "no-worry have fun in the sun San Diegans." Admittedly, this is probably one of colder seasons since I've been here.
As far as the homeless folks. There is one sitting a good 10 yards away from me. He's made his presence known quickly. He's managed to complete an impossible task. In this overcrowded library he has cleared a circumference and as of right now he has two large tables to himself. Quite impressive if you ask me. I imagine it's because he doesn't exactly smell like "lovespell" from Victoria Secret like some of these girls. Whatever, I'm sure some of these people haven't showered this week either. Heck, I could use a shower soon too. In fact I've seen a girl putting on some deodorant and another guy with his pillow knocked out so I don't see why this man can't make himself at home at CLICS either. My friend, the CSO received complaints from students about him, and they were planning on kicking him out of here. True, the foul odor of this man has managed to creep it's way in my vicinity and presents a minor disturbance, but I don't really want this man to be kicked out in the cold. It's already embarrassing enough that cops have to come talk to him in front of all of us students and the mixed stares speak louder than the "ooos" and... "ewws" that they desperately hold back. I would like to reconcile this situation. I mean you have college students who need to study and a man who needs some shelter. Quite a peculiar situation to be perfectly honest. Images and thoughts of "WWJD" acronyms monopolize my meandering mind. Truthfully, I'm not sure how to really deal with the situation. I feel a little called to tell people to just chill and give the guy a break. I don't know who they are though. Good thing it has been resolved though, because how does one deal with that situation? I don't really have an answer but I must resume my research!
This place smells of various munchies and people look like they're a "Rockstar" away from being cracked out. I think how I can be joyful during this time of finals and joyful in the Lord at that. I've been looking at clips of coverage on immigration for the past few hours trying to decipher images and see how to make my case that media outlets racialize the immigration debate and make it more of a "Mexican" issue rather than an issue of "immigration." I think how my people and many others, are often invisible sojourners in this country but are often made "hyper-visible" (yeah I know that is an Ethnic Studies concept. In other words they are made more visible in certain contexts...another paradoxical situation). Trying to finish up some research for my final prospectus for the quarter, I surprisingly feel at peace with God and joyful. Maybe, my seasoned veteran savvy has allowed me to cheat the devil out of having a field day with my emotions this finals week, but to be honest, this quarter has been extremely difficult in many respects, but still God's peace comes over me. This is kinda the first time too. I don't know why, that's something I'll reflect on over the break.
Anyway, thinking about the injustice of the immigration situation where people loosely slip in and out of their rhetoric to praise immigrants for their hard work while ambiguously saying we still need to solve the "problem" although it's never really defined. Kinda just...there. Yeah, that is another issue and I won't go off on that tangent, but another group of "invisibles" trek their way here into UCSD libraries often and perhaps they're a little more noticeable when the libraries experience density a la finals week. They're not hard to notice. In fact, they stick out like black people on this campus (damn you UCSD!! Diversity my arse. I can't help but feel this world takes one step forward only to take two steps backwards sometimes), in general kinda like minorities in college campuses across this country. They stick out like me when I walk through this library. My stupid orthotics for my flat feet always make weird noises when I walk because they're not the natural in-soles for the shoes. I'm sure everyone has stared already. The awkward "squeaks" are quite rude in such study environments, and they're not the traditional "squeaks" either. I can't really explain it. It kinda sounds like the tin man without oil from the "Wizard of Oz" but not quite as harsh. But yeah, homeless folks roll through the libraries trying to avoid the chill factor of the coast. San Diego weather has been freakishly cold. Well, not that cold, but cold for the "no-worry have fun in the sun San Diegans." Admittedly, this is probably one of colder seasons since I've been here.
As far as the homeless folks. There is one sitting a good 10 yards away from me. He's made his presence known quickly. He's managed to complete an impossible task. In this overcrowded library he has cleared a circumference and as of right now he has two large tables to himself. Quite impressive if you ask me. I imagine it's because he doesn't exactly smell like "lovespell" from Victoria Secret like some of these girls. Whatever, I'm sure some of these people haven't showered this week either. Heck, I could use a shower soon too. In fact I've seen a girl putting on some deodorant and another guy with his pillow knocked out so I don't see why this man can't make himself at home at CLICS either. My friend, the CSO received complaints from students about him, and they were planning on kicking him out of here. True, the foul odor of this man has managed to creep it's way in my vicinity and presents a minor disturbance, but I don't really want this man to be kicked out in the cold. It's already embarrassing enough that cops have to come talk to him in front of all of us students and the mixed stares speak louder than the "ooos" and... "ewws" that they desperately hold back. I would like to reconcile this situation. I mean you have college students who need to study and a man who needs some shelter. Quite a peculiar situation to be perfectly honest. Images and thoughts of "WWJD" acronyms monopolize my meandering mind. Truthfully, I'm not sure how to really deal with the situation. I feel a little called to tell people to just chill and give the guy a break. I don't know who they are though. Good thing it has been resolved though, because how does one deal with that situation? I don't really have an answer but I must resume my research!
